• These Aren't Your Knock Knock Jokes

    Posted by Celeste Kapalin on 3/27/2018

    Unfortunately, the news has been filled with upsetting stories lately. We all have our own personal problems as well, and everyone has bad days. If your day has been darkened by the dreary weather, here are some jokes to bring out the sun and brighten your day!


    1. What do you call a fake noodle?

    2. An impasta!

    1. Did you hear about the hungry clock?

    2. It went back four seconds!

    1. What do lawyers wear to court?

    2. Lawsuits!

    1. What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs?

    2. A penny!

    1. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

    2. A spelling bee!

    1. How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat?

    2. When it's full!

    1. Why did the opera singer go sailing?

    2. She wanted to hit the high C's.

    1. What monster plays the most April Fools Days jokes?

    2. Prankenstein

    1. Why did the barber win the race?

    2. Because he took a shortcut!

    1. What's the Easter Bunny's favorite dance move?

    2. The bunny hop!


    Jokes courtesy of JOKES4US.com, READERSDIGEST.com, and QUICKFUNNYJOKES.com

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  • Belarus

    Posted by Celeste Kapalin on 3/27/2018

    Everyday you learn something new, even if you are no longer in school. Today you are going to learn more about Belarus then you’ve ever wanted to know.

    I’m a nerd, so I decided to study the map of Europe. I didn’t even know that many of them were countries, so I wanted to learn more about them, and decided to share my research with you!

    Belarus is a country in eastern Europe, one that many people don’t know much about, or haven’t even heard of. It is located to the left of Russia, the right of Poland, below Latvia and Lithuania, and above Ukraine.

    Here are 20 Belarus fun facts:

    1. Belarus means “White Russia.”

    2. The capital is Minsk.

    3. The population is approximately 9,452,113 people.  

    4. The main language is Belarusian.

    5. The highest mountain is Mount Dzyarzhynskaya at 346 meters. It is located to the west Minsk, in the village Skirmuntava.

    6. Belarus is the only European country that still has the death penalty.

    7. The first, and current, president is Alexander Lukashenko, who has been in power since July 20, 1994. He is 63 years of age.

    8. Belarus’ most important holiday is Freedom Day on May 9, celebrating the end of German occupation during World War 2.   

    9. Belarus is around 80, 153 square miles, with about 38.1% of that being forest.

    10. The longest river in Belarus is Dnieper at 1, 369 miles.

    11. The national animal is the European bison.

    12. This country is sometimes called the blue-eyed country because the national flower is the cornflower.

    13. The top wealthiest businessmen are Vladimir Peftiev and Yury Chyzh.

    14. Belarus is famous for its dairy products- especially cheese!

    15. The first Belarus Nobel Prize winner was Svetlana Alexievich. She won in 2015 for her work in literature.

    16. If you love potatoes, this country is for you. Belarus has over 300 potato recipes, including potato pancakes, that make them known as the “Potato Nation.”

    17. Belarus is home to about 11, 000 lakes.

    18. Belarus holds one of the world’s largest libraries. It has 20 floors, and is 72. 6 meters tall, weighs 115, 000 tons, and takes up about 112, 6 thousand square miles.

    19. Belarus dedicates most of its monuments to Lenin, with every city having a street named after him.

    20. On the left side of the flag is a vertical stripe that holds a white pattern drawn on red, representing Belarusian traditional costumes. The main portion of the flag is red, which represents the Revolution. The rest of the flag is green to represent Belarussian forests.


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  • Erin Adkins Spirit Week 2018

    Posted by Parker Skutt on 3/26/2018

    Spirit Week Calendar Spring 2018 Leading up to spring break, Elyria High’s student council is hosting another spirit week! This week is not only focused on school spirit, however, but bringing awareness and donating to local charities.

    Pioneer Strong week started in 2014 after the death of Erin Adkins, an English teacher who was also an alumni of Elyria High. She had been diagnosed with lung cancer over the summer of 2013, and despite the setback all she wanted to do was go back to teaching. “She loved teaching here. She always wanted to be a teacher… I remember we would have conversations about how she just wanted to get back,” Ms. Blitz, the student council head, recalled about her. After her death, she and Ms. Belcher were the ones to initiate the week to honor her.

    Ms. Adkins managed to come back to teacher for some time, though health setbacks hospitalized her right before spring break. She expected to be able to return before the student-teacher basketball game, but unfortunately she died on April 13, 2013. “It was really crazy, and scary, and sad because we knew all of her students who loved her and had her were not at school to be around everybody and deal with the grief of losing her,” said Mrs. Biltz.

    The next year the Pioneer Strong week was set up, but also a scholarship in her name. Shirts are sold to provide funds for the scholarship.

    During this week, money will be donated to “The Gathering Place,” which provides emotional support for patients and their families during their cancer treatment, and lung cancer research. Tickets will also be sold during lunch periods for 50 cents for the chance to throw pie in a teacher’s face. If you want to help our community, be sure to check the spirit week schedule to see how you can help each day, and make sure to support our student basketball team on Wednesday!

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  • Track Record Set

    Posted by Mitzi Wilson on 3/15/2018

    Running your Personal Best

    By Alexis Cozart

    The day was warm and sunny, a perfect day to run a track and field race. It was April 23rd, 2016 at Avon Relays Invitational. All of the runners had nerves racing through their bodies, especially for four runners from the Elyria High School track and field team.

    Erin Mariner, Kayla Yance, Emma Gardner, and Emily Nemeth were trying to accomplish a goal that would be record-breaking. Their goal, to break the school record for the 4x1600. The most nervous of the four was Emily Nemeth, a freshman at the time. Her mind was set on the goal the moment she knew it was possible. On the day of the meet she said, “Honestly I was freaked out and we arrived late so we were rushed warming up.  I kept telling myself that breaking the record was possible.” She felt the pressure before and during the race, “I could not stand still the entire time leading up to my turn.”

    The Elyria High coach, Jerry Chizmar, has coached the track team for sixteen years. He knew if anyone could help break the record it would be Emily, but “she would have to run her personal best.” Which Ally Allen, one of Emily’s teammates on the track team, knew would not be hard because “ she pushes herself every practice and every race to get better.”

    The moments leading up to the race was “exciting and nerve-wracking,” said Ally. “I was excited because it is amazing to see her run, but nervous because I did not want her to disqualify the team or not break the record.”

    The race was about to start. Ally, Chizmar, and the relay team were anxious to watch the race. The gun went off and everyone started to cheer and scream, “GO ELYRIA!” Erin set a personal best, Kayla, and Emma set one too. It was all up to Emily to finish strong and break the record. “I knew being anchor in the race would put a lot of pressure on me because if I did not break the record, it would have been on my time.”

    She crossed the finish line at a time of 23:01:23. Is it enough for a school record? “The girls and I ran over to Chizmar and I first waited for him to tell us how we did. When we found out that we broke the record we were all so excited, we were all jumping and screaming. I still wish someone would have recorded that moment even though I will never forget it.” The girls, including Emily were amazed at the accomplishment they broke. Chizmar was “very happy for them. Everyone did so much work and it was nice to see how excited they were.” Ally was “overjoyed and proud. It was amazing what they did.” Everyone was celebrating the great accomplishment set at the track that sunny afternoon.

    How do you continue after breaking an accomplishment that astonishing? “That race has shaped me into the runner I am today. I have made it to regionals two times since then and I have made all Lorain County for cross country,” said Emily. This is just the beginning for Emily and her career as a runner. “She has every skill she needs to do amazing things, running wise, after high school,” said Ally.

    The future includes Emily running for as long as she can. “I plan on running in college and even if it does not work out I still plan to continue running on my own.”

    Who knew on a warm and sunny day at the Avon Relays Invitational a group of four runners from Elyria School High would break the school record with a time of 23:01:23 for the 4x1600. A race can change your future within an instant, you just have to run your personal best first.

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  • New Pep Band at EHS

    Posted by Mitzi Wilson on 3/15/2018

    From The Field To The Court: EHS Pep Band

    By Lindsey Miller

    The Elyria High School Pioneer Marching band has captured the hearts of Elyrians for many generations, on and off the field. Band kids, parents, and fans alike are all disappointed when the end of the marching band season marches around. This year, the director, Aaron C. Putka, has come up with a solution: Pep Band. “Pep Band has existed before at EHS,” Putka says, “I’m not sure when, but it was being run by students.” Pep Band is the marching band we all know and love, but smaller and moved indoors to support the boy’s and girl’s basketball teams. It’s truly a marching band lover’s dream. With big hits such as Metallica’s “Master of Puppets,” Walk the Moon’s ‘Shut Up and Dance,” and Billy Idol’s “Rebel Yell,” Pep Band really ended their first season with a new director on a high note.

    “Pep Band is fun to direct,” Putka continues, “We play fun music that’s enjoyable to play during a time of year when we spend class time playing very serious and difficult music.” Everyone who participated in Pep Band has a really fun time playing their favorite songs.

    “It was both interesting and fun,” Austin Fugitt, a junior quads player said. “The people that were there made it enjoyable, and being able to play my quads again was a nice experience.”

    When asked about his favorite part, Aaron Moen, a sophomore trumpet player, responded with “Getting to play loud. Since it’s a smaller group, I get to play as loud as I want. That’s what our trumpets do best.” Aaron adds “Sitting and talking to my friends like it was marching season again was a dream come true.”

    Not everything was all fun-and-games though. The students involved put a lot of hard work and effort into their playing, and had a few complaints. One of these was the seating being provided. “I’d really like better seats next year,” Aaron says. “We were all pretty cramped into one small section of the bleachers.”

    Austin agrees, saying “I hated it. The seating was awful. Have you ever been locked in a closet? That’s the feeling. Being in a confined space without any room to move.”

    As far as improvements go, seating arrangements is high on the list, especially if Pep Band gets a higher turnout next year.

    There are high hopes for next year, as Putka says “I would like to add a few more songs and incentives to increase the turnout.”

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  • Overwatch Horoscope

    Posted by Sammy Jason on 3/15/2018

    Your Overwatch Horoscope

    By Sammy Jason

    Overwatch is a first-person shooter game with a modern twist. It actually goes far beyond just shooting - there are many different roles you can take, and work as a team to seize the objective.

    Taurus - Orisa: Orisa and Taurus are down to earth and practical; Orisa also shares horns with the bull.

    Pisces - Lucio: Lucio and Pisces are very compassionate since they can’t help but care for others.

    Aries - Tracer: Tracer is full of energy and has no fear of being bold, like the proud Aries.

    Leo - Reinhardt: Reinhardt is known in the Overwatch community for his bravery, thus his symbol is a lion but one who is too cocky tends not to last long.

    Gemini - Hanzo: Hanzo is very adaptable like Gemini, not to mention the twin dragons.

    Scorpio - Doomfist: Doomfist will stand for what he believes is right, no exceptions. This stubborn nature is shared with Scorpio.

    Cancer - Genji: Loyalty and sympathy make both Genji and Cancer forgiving.

    Virgo - Soldier: 76: Soldier 76 displays bravery and commits himself to hard work, like Virgo.

    Libra - Widowmaker: Libra and Widowmaker have keen minds able to make quick decisions.

    Sagittarius - Mei: Sagittarius and Mei are both free spirits who are free thinkers and travellers.

    Capricorn - Symmetra: Both Symmetra and Capricorn are refined in nature, showing great discipline and responsibility.

    Aquarius - Reaper: Reaper is very independent, like this sign, with his ability to both do damage and heal himself.

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  • February 14 Walkout Day

    Posted by Photos by Destiny Torres, junior on 3/15/2018

    Organizing Group for EHS Walkout Day Students made their own signs for the demonstration.

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  • Signing Day at EHS

    Posted by Mitzi Wilson on 2/7/2018

    Wednesday, February 7 ,10 Pioneer athletes signed at 8 a.m. in the PAC to continue their athletic careers in college.  They are:


    Carter Hyde – Ohio Christian University – Baseball


    Sabastian DelCorral – Ohio Wesleyan University – Soccer

    Haley Walton – Wright State University – Soccer

    Ja’Maya Ward – Cleveland State University – Soccer


    Tristan Arno – Mount Union University – Football

    Dontae Beckett – Mount Union University - Football

    Scottie Ethington – Otterbein University - Football

    Dayonte Horton – Otterbein University – Football

    Jordan Lucky Baker – Otterbein University - Football

    Johnanthony Lowery – Grand Valley State University – Football

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  • Arsenic and Old Lace

    Posted by Celeste Kapalin & Destiny Torres on 2/6/2018

    Arsenic and Old Lace

    By: Destiny Torres & Celeste Kapalin

    Many kids dream of becoming a famous actor or actress someday, but most of them don’t put in the time or effort to reach this goal; well, except for the amazingly talented thespians of drama club!

    Several of these students got the chance to perform in the drama club’s first play of the school year, Arsenic and Old Lace. (November 10-12, 2017) These students worked extremely hard to memorize their lines, be loud and clear on stage, and make this the best performance possible.

    Have you ever wondered what goes into a play?

    Well you can find out by joining Elyria High’s Drama Club. They put on three different plays throughout the school year, the last of which being a musical.

    Even if being up on stage is not for you, we have a job for you!

    The performers could be the best in the world, but if there are no sets, costumes, makeup, props, sound, or lighting, their hard work is worth nothing.

    This play, written by Joseph Kesselring, is about two spinster aunts who murder lonely old men whose secret is not discovered until their nephew, Mortimer comes to visit. Then everything spins out of control when their crazy nephew Jonathan suddenly comes after years of no one hearing a word from him.

    While the cast of the play and other members of drama club were preparing the set, we interviewed some of the members.

    Meet the Cast

    Mrs. Christian- Director

    Q- “How long have you been directing plays here at EHS?”

    A- “20 years.”

    Q- “What is the most challenging thing you’ve dealt with during this production?”

    A- “Finding the props for the show, since the show is set in another time.”

    Q- “Do you have any advice or words of wisdom you want say to the cast and crew?”

    A- “Relax and enjoy the experience. This may be the most fun time of you lives, spending it on stage. Just try to have fun. Also, audition for the winter play and musical.”

    Garrett Chapin- Officer O'Hara

    Q- “What is your favorite memory while working on this play?”

    A- “My favorite memory is pointing my gun at Mathew.”

    Q- “Do you think this play would be as entertaining if it was a musical?”

    A- “It would be a little more entertaining.”

    Q- “Serious question: do you believe in Bigfoot?”

    A-  “No.”

    Kaleb Robinson- Mr. Gibbs

    Q- “Are you and your character similar in some ways?”

    A- “Yes, they're both tiny and like to get right to the point”

    Q- “Do you recommend people joining drama club?”   

    A- “Yes because drama club is the foundation of ELyria high and it is where a kid can be whatever they want.”

    Q- “If you could only eat one food for the rest of his life, what would it be?”      

    A- “Fried chicken, hands down.”

    Abbey Sears- Drama Club President

    Q- “Do you think this play would be as entertaining if it was a musical?”

    A- “It would be even more entertaining!”

    Q- “What is your favorite memory while working on this play?”

    A- “Having all the actors as the characters they are makes me very happy.”

    Q- “Do you recommend people joining drama club?”

    A- “Oh heck yeah!”

    Jyrone Tucker- Dr. Einstein

    Q- “Have you been in any other productions?”

    A- “No.”

    Q- “What is your favorite memory while working on this play?”

    A- “The Halloween cast party at Emilia’s.”

    Q- “Do you think you and your character would get along in real life?”

    A- “Maybe.”

    Tom Rothgery- Jonathan Brewster

    Q- “Who’s someone who has helped you a lot during this play?”

    A- “Jyrome, he’s just on the ball and looks out for me.”

    Q- “Do you think this play would be as entertaining if it was a musical?”

    A- “No, I don't think any play would be interesting as a musical.”

    Q- “Do you think you and your character would get along in real life?”

    A- “No, he’d kill me.”

    Lilly Ruth- Officer Klein

    Q- “What is your favorite memory while working on this play?”

    A- “Tom is supposed to strangle me in the play, first time we’re running the scene and Tom just looks at me and says “I don't think I feel comfortable doing this” and C (the director) teaches me how to get strangled.”

    Q- “Who is your favorite superhero?”

    A- “Deadpool.”

    Q- “Do you think you and your character would get along in real life?”

    A- “Possibly, my character is pretty dumb.”

    Emily Madisson (Gregory)- Aunt Martha

    Q- “Are you and your character similar in some ways?”

    A- “I think we’re both caring people and kind of shy and timid sometimes.”

    Q- “Have you been in any other productions before?”

    A- “Over 23 productions.”

    Q- “What has been the most difficult scene to act out?”

    A- “Probably the quick witted scenes.”

    Ben Torres- Officer Brophy

    Q- “Do you think you and your character would get along in real life?”

    A- “No.”

    Q- “Do you recommend people joining drama club?”

    A- “Of course!”

    Q- “Do you think this play would be as entertaining if it was a musical?”

    A-  “This play would be fantastic as a musical.”

    Bobby Long- Harper, Roony

    Q- “Have you been in any other productions before?”

    A- “Yes.”

    Q- “Do you think you and your character would get along in real life?”

    A- “No.”

    Q- “Serious question, do you believe in Bigfoot?”

    A- “That’s classified.”

    Diamond Brown- Abby Brewster

    Q- “Do you think you and your character would get along in real life?”

    A- “Yes.”

    Q- “Do you think this play would be as entertaining if it was a musical?”

    A- “Yes, that’d be amazing.”

    Q- “What has been the most difficult scene to act out?”

    A- “When Jonathan and Dr. Einstein come in for the first time.”

    Matthew Plumb- Mortimer

    Q- “Do you think you and your character would get along in real life?”

    A- “We might occasionally, we might not see eye to eye on everything though.”

    Q- “Favorite memory while working on this play?”

    A- “Hearing Xander yell charge for the first time.”

    Q- “Serious question, do you believe in bigfoot?”

    A- “I have no reason not to.”

    Zander Saunders

    Q- “Do you think you and your character would get along in real life?”

    A- “Heck yeah.”

    Q- “Favorite memory while working on this play?”

    A- “Putting up the signs around Elyria with Matthew.”

    Q- “Who is your favorite superhero?”

    A- “Green Arrow.”

    Brandon Hernandez- Witherspoon

    Q- “Are you and your character similar in some ways?”

    A- “Yeah. We’re both responsible.”

    Q- “What has been the most difficult scene to act out?”

    A- “I haven’t had more trouble spots, but at the end I have to act happier and I haven’t reached that yet.”

    Q- “Favorite memory while working on this play?”

    A- “Being able to hang out with my friends and making new friends.”



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  • Leo Pop Tabs

    Posted by Celeste Kapalin on 2/6/2018

       Leo Club is one of the community service clubs at Elyria High School, and is the student version of Lions International. Each year they collect pop tabs to donate to the Cleveland Ronald McDonald house, but this year they are running short on pop tabs and time.

       “There is not yet a concrete due date as of yet because we are still finalizing a date to deliver them, but we are aiming for the end of February/ early March,” says Ms. Pokorny, one of the Leo Club supervisors.

       My next question was their pop tab collection goal.

       “We would like to be able to fill at least one trash bag,” she told me, “which is easy to do if everyone can bring in a Ziploc bag full!”

       But what does the Ronald McDonald house use the pop tabs for?

       “The Ronald McDonald house recycles the tabs to generate revenue for house operations. Last year they earned just under $7,000 solely from recycling tabs! All of that money goes back to providing services for the families staying at the house.”

      They could use your help!

       Collected pop tabs, which can come from containers such as soup cans as well, can be delivered to Ms. Pokorny in room 204, Ms. Moujaes, the other supervisor, in room 133, or a Leo Club member.

       If you are interested in joining Leo Club, meetings are every other Friday at 7:15 a.m. in room 204. You can also visit one the supervisors for more information.  

       Thank you so much for your help and support!


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